Wherever There Is

This week my husband and I were on vacation with his family. Nothing too fancy--just two hours south in the mountains. He's actually still there--I had to work the past couple of days, but I'll be heading back down early tomorrow morning. Another unplugged weekend, and then back to reality Sunday night.

The time off was nice, and for the most part, the hubs and I relaxed. One great thing? We ran every day, up and down the winding mountain roads, in the 90-degree humidity. Now, our pace was closer to a crawl than a haul. I mean, it was seriously pathetic. But I had what running has always given me--control.

Ever since I started this never-ending baby race, I've been afraid to really push it. Yes, I've run a few races along the way, training haphazardly in two-week increments, but during the two-week wait, I just can't seem to do it. And during treatment cycles, I'm afraid to do much at any point. "We're putting so much into this," I think, "I can give up running for another month."

It's totally illogical, I know. I've read the articles; I've seen the pictures of Paula Radcliffe running a 10K with a gigantic belly. But still I know that in a couple of weeks, even though I'm benched from treatment, I probably won't be able to push it.

So to wrap up this disorganized post, let me tell you a story--it's a short one. It's Wednesday, about 5:00 p.m., and about 100 degrees. My husband and I start on our hazy run, up the gravelly mountain road, past trainers and log-cabin-facade mansions. The front yards are mostly deserted, but in front of one olive green house that really looks like a yurt, a man and a teenage boy stand, talking. The man calls out to us, "Your almost there," and he must realize that's a stupid thing to say, because he laughs, and then adds, "wherever there is."

We weren't almost there--we'd actually only been running for about 3 minutes. But I found myself repeating the words as I pushed up hills, as I steadied my breathing. "Wherever there is" became an unconscious mantra.

Wherever there is.
Wherever there is.
Wherever there is.

We're almost there, wherever there is.

How's THAT for melodramatic :) ?! Good night, bloggy world.