Juno

Before I write about Juno . . . holla--I'm back! I know, totally, totally fickle. I'm committed to keeping the blog alive, even if I don't post often. I want to chronicle my journey, as well as share my feelings without having to actual verbalize them!

Quick update: We took the cycle off after IUI #3. Before the process began, I wouldn't have thought I'd want to take a month off, but damn, it was nice. Ran many miles without guilt, visited and had visitors . . . you'd think with my relaxed attitude, I would have gotten knocked up! I mean, this is all in my head, right :) ?

And on to IUI #4. After a whopping 10 nights of Gonal injections, the procedure went down on Memorial Day. We'll see how it goes--not super hopeful. I'm feeling as normal as ever, but I guess it's still very early. If this month fails, we'll take a cycle off before IUI #5.

So Juno. My husband and I saw Juno in the theater New Years Eve 2007. I'd gone off birth control a few weeks earlier. I was training hard for a marathon, whcih I'd run in March. Then we'd begin TTC. For all we thought, we could be holding a baby by New Years Eve 2008. Needless to say, we had high hopes going into 2008.

As was the national consensus, we loved the movie--the snarky diaglogue, Juno's realness and innocence, the summery, hopeful music. As is my M.O., I cried through the end of the movie--you know, when Jennifer Garner holds the baby in the hospital. At the time, I'd hadn't given much thought to infertility, but the movie conveyed it powerfully enough for me to sympathize with her character.

Flash forward 2.5 years. The movie was on TV last night, and my husband and I caught the last hour of it after coming home from a bbq. After having my feet in Jennifer Garner's stirrups, I felt more than ever that this movie got it right. I love how her happy ending isn't what she envisioned, but it was OK, and it was happy. I noticed more how much a mother to her Juno's stepmother was, a reminder that biology really isn't the end-all. And the tears after Juno gave birth--both my husband and I had the same thought--what if she isn't able to come back to this on her own terms? What if by the time she tries to conceive again, she can't?

And . . . that's all.